August of Wind - Aunt S

Herschel Winn was tired of his name. He was tired of spelling his name for people. He started thinking about changing his name. Around that time, reports of other people changing their names started appearing in the news. Herschel was fascinated by the report of the man who changed his name to "In God We Trust." "If he can do that," Herschel thought, "I can do anything." Herschel was intrigued but not surprised when another man was unsuccessful in his attempt to change his name to "F--- Censorship." "You can't really take a name like that to the bank," Herschel reasoned. Herschel wanted to make a dramatic statement with his name without being profane or vulgar. He thought about his birthday in August. He thought about some of his favorite movie titles, such as Gone With the Wind and Lawrence of Arabia. "I know," Herschel thought, "I'll change my name to 'August of Wind.'" He thought about capitalizing the o in "of" as his middle name and decided against it. "I don't care if it makes filling out every form more difficult for the rest of my life," thought Herschel, "e.e. cummings wrote his name in lower case, and I can too. I can do whatever I want. Maybe I'll become a famous author or poet." Herschel went to the court to file a petition for change of name. When the court clerk told him the filing fee would be $320.00, Herschel reconsidered. "Perhaps I'll just use a pseudonym," Herschel thought. "I actually rather like my name. I'm not sure I want to change my name after all." Herschel never did change his name to August of Wind.

August of the Wind - Aunt Jean

It was that kind of a month – the August of Wind. Most of the paint sheared off the side of my car that I had mistakenly left out of the garage. A good deal of the roof went and the chickens had a surprisingly good time flying around in the coop. Who knew they were such athletes!

Since this period had followed the Placebo of June and the Doldrums of July, no one actually expected wind. Quelle unpleasant surprise! We were totally unprepared but have managed to survive as you can tell from this short missive. My hair will probably grow in again at some point. I am, however, looking forward to the September of Soporificness.